I think I'm falling into a state of saddness.  Nothing makes me happy.  I'm not happy at school.  I'm not happy driving.  I'm not happy on the computer.  I'm not happy sleeping.  I'm not happy reading.  I'm not happy eating.  The only places I find that I'm happy is at soccer or at the Y.  I need exercise to keep me going.  Last week, I didn't eat for three days.  I know Court won't like that, cus I just do.  But in three days, I didn't even have enough food for one day.  It's really hard to admit that.  But, the next day, I ate so much junk.  So I guess I made up for it... kinda.  I'm making myself physically sick now... not like making myself throwup, but it's gone from a mental thing to an outside feeling.  This morning, I could barely get out of the shower I felt so... I'm not even sure what I felt, I just know that it wasn't a healthy feeling.  Then today, I almost fell asleep in the cafeteria.  I think I need help.  Or sleep.  Or more exercise.  I'm going tomorrow to the Y.  Then I'll prolly go on Friday... maybe even twice.  I'll go at like 11 until like 1.  Then go at about 3 with Michelle... maybe... wait I can't.  I'll go at night then.  I crave the Y... On the way back from soccer tonight, I asked my dad to drop me off at the Y.  And the thing is, I wasn't joking.  I did want to go.  Anyways... it's gonna be cold tomorrow.  Maybe I have SAD.... I needa go tanning... then I'll be happy.  Bye

~liz